Yeah, hey. How y’all doing? I’m fine, book’s fine, the second book is almost fine and getting there. Everything’s peachy. I guess you were expecting more talk about writing, but there’s really only so much that can be said about writing a book. I take a bunch of words, I stick them in a pleasing order, and I keep doing that until I have enough words to pretend it’s a book. Stick a pretty picture on the front, bam, bob’s your uncle.
But while I’m wrangling all those words, I also listen to music. I kinda have to, because words are like cats. You can put them in order for a few moments, perhaps a minute, if you give them a box to sit in, but when your back is turned they do whatever they damn well please. Very frustrating.
To combat such frustration, one tends to reach for the soothing falsettos of Judas Priest, or the pillowy dulcet growls of Motörhead. You know how it is. You want to hear someone who sounds like cats being wrangled, or someone who sounds like he’s wrangling cats, so you know you’re not the only one.
I usually take a pick of my own curated collection, but every now and then you want to hear something else. You get curious to hear if there are any alternate versions of your favorite songs, and what other artists have done with them. More often than not it’s disappointing to learn how people overestimate themselves. Even Celine Dion. There’s no denying your talent, Celine, but You Shook Me All Night Long is just not your thing.
Right, it’s definitely not all disappointment and head shaking. Take Antigone Rising’s version of Fat Bottomed Girls, for instance. But before I let myself machine gun you with all the good covers, let me just skip right ahead to the one that makes me post on a book-based website.
You’ll not be surprised to find Thin Lizzy’s cover of Bob Seger’s Rosalie is one of my favorite songs. Unlike my Rosalie, Bob Seger’s Rosalie Trombley was a music director for CKLW. I don’t know what that stands for, but it’s a radio station. Also unlike my Rosalie, Rosalie Trombley is pictured to the left. If she decided you were gonna be played, you were in. Artists like Alice Cooper, Ted Nugent, The Guess Who, and Bob Seger got hits thanks to her, and Bob Seger wrote a song about her. Ironically, the song got little to no airplay on CKLW. Stories differ, but Rosalie was either offended, or flattered but fearing a conflict of interest. It’s of no consequence, because we’re now going to talk about Motörhead. At least, I am. You can just sit there and take it.
Motörhead is an icon, fronted by the equally iconic Lemmy Kilmister. Those of you not interested in metal: You know Ace Of Spades. Whether or not you like it is something else entirely. Either you do, or you’ll not tell me you don’t.
Now, back to covers, because you know where this is going, and it’s awesome. I didn’t know this existed until today, but it’s like the Gods of Heavy Metal got together, had a few too many drinks, and went: “What if we slap these things together?”
No one objected, because they’re Gods. Of Heavy Metal. That’s like regular God, but… metal. Go ahead and imagine what that’s like, and then feast your ears on the following.
You’re fucking welcome.